TINTed

I noticed how she started coming home late, how she started putting on different perfumes and scents, trying out new things, new foods like croissants, pizza, and smoothies. I noticed how she started using headphones and putting on dark colors, using words like “Yo” and “Whatever’’ in conversation. I already knew something was up, but I could not place my fingers on it. The other day, she called me sweet cheeks and I laughed so hard. I was worried, but I laughed hard about it. I decide not to worry about the little changes. I thought she just might be in the valley of self-discovery, a 40+ crisis or maybe I was just over thinking.

The past month has been heavy on me. I’ve had a lot to handle, my younger brother had another substance abuse episode yet again. The third one this month. He has been kicked out of three different colleges and he is in the fourth one now. I am secretly tired of his rubbish and nonchalant attitude. We lost our parents in a plane crash many years ago, and I have been solely responsible for him since then. I’ve been the one taking care of Zik, my awesome baby brother. He has his moments. He’s a brilliant young man, plagued by so much pain. He blames God for the death of our parents and I don’t know how to address it.

However, this is about Bree, my darling wife. I feel she is drifting away. I don’t have any proof, all I have are these feelings I am feeling right now, gut feelings.

I am positive that when we go on our 10th year anniversary weekend, we will rekindle the things we lost on the way. But thinking about all of this is making me realize how things have not been clear for the past three to four years now, and I wonder how I should go about it. I hear cases like this on a daily basis, but now it’s happening to me.

I’m heading out to the meet-up with my brothers. Chally sent a message to the group, he said we got a package from Paul. Chally is a new convert, a real gentile I will tell you more about as we go on. Something shocking happened when we picked up the package from Paul. I mean we all admire him and what not, but at first, we feared him because of his past. We distrusted his motives and the genuinity of his calling, now we want to be like him. Some of us anyway.

Immediately I got to Chally’s, we started having conversations about faith. He was hosting today’s group study. We talked, then argued about something Apollos or Paul said a while ago, about how mentors of the past had so much faith. I did not think any of it was logical o, how will God tell me to go to a place he will show me? How? And what kind of faith would make you pack your bags, wife and nephew and leave?

While we were so caught up in our wonder and discussion, there was a knock on the door. Chally looked at Tim and sent him an eye signal to get the door. The brothers did that often, send Tim and treat him like an infant because was the youngest among us. We were surprised to hear that the package was from James, not Paul. Timothy was the one who unwrapped the package. The first message said that Paul was arrested yet again and so he could not come to us as planned. I thought he was with Barnabas but Barnabas was not arrested luckily, though he was hanging around in Rome, being Paul’s support. So he read the letter from the package sent in.

James’ letter read:

James, a slave of Yahweh and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to my brothers and all the tribes scattered abroad:

Greetings.

My brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy,

No offence o, but James what? This is from our guy that has most likely also heard about Paul’s recent arrest, who himself has suffered so much from our government and has had his life threathened! What are you telling us to do? Count what exactly? I don’t know if you get my exasperation, but things have not been going my way for months now, and I am far from counting or seeing any of these as happy, or joyful. But here comes James the great trying to encourage us, we who are trying to get him out of Asia minor without being detected. Also seeing how we can get Paul out of jail now that he might be facing a death sentence, so how can James be the one encouraging us? I mean he is not doing well himself, things are deinitely not going his way but where then does this encouragement come from? Making all I want look like earthly, fleshly desires; which they are if I am being honest, but I do not want so much, all I want is… I was so caught us in my troubling thoughts till I heard:

Aaaaron,

Brother Aaron! They said you should say the closing prayer.

edited by Balpolam Idi xxx remember to count it ALL Joy.

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